i'm just me after all

Glenn is that journalist that never gets a promotion, too enamored with the process, with everything that crosses his path, he flits from subject matter to subject matter until he perfects it, goes places no one else will go with a smile on his face and helping hands and then writes about it later, he doesn’t care about the money, and its not just a job to him, and Daryl has to admire that.

Daryl admires that because he’s a washed up baseball player with a gimp knee who writes up the sports section after watching the games on the television, because this is a job and he can’t do anything else without hating himself. 

Daryl watches Glenn jump around the room full of energy and a stupid hat on his head and wants to kiss the breath out of him and see if how red his cheeks get from Daryl, and not just the excitement of a job well done, he doesn’t though, because he feels bitter and older than he should, like an old man rather than his twenty odd years at living and he doesn’t want to bring Glenn down to his level. 

So he watches instead. 

Daryl hates libraries. He likes the quiet, but the quiet in a library is more stifling than it is outside. The library is full of hushed whispers that echo when you’re in that certain corner and shushes from the old librarian and glares when your sneeze is too loud. 

He hates libraries. 

But the school’s library has a new kid working the counter, one who’s smile is bright and crinkles his eyes and doesn’t mind the quiet talking during his shift, and the kids from the middle school down the street sneak in to use the computers and he turns his back to their giggles. 

Daryl might be a little bit in love as he hides in the stacks and watches as he talks to a blonde woman and points over to a section with a smile. 

“Hi!” the kid says brightly when Daryl puts his book on the counter to check out. His name is Glenn, if the shiny new tag is right. 

“What happened to the old one?” Daryl asks, drumming his fingers on the counter. 

“The old what?” Glenn asks, pausing over the keyboard to look at him. 

“The old librarian,” Daryl says. 

“She moved back in with her kids after she hurt her hip, bad fall,” Glenn says. “I just got my degree last semester, but they needed a librarian fast so I got picked,” Glenn smiles at him. 

“You’re better,” Daryl says quietly when Glenn hands his book and card back. He hurries away before anything else can be said. 

-

The next time a phone number and a wink are written on his check out receipt. 

“I don’t think you understand,” Glenn moaned from his spot on Daryl’s couch as cabinets slammed in the kitchen. 

“No, yeah, when I go to weddings I go to get laid,” Daryl said. “So I really don’t.” 

Glenn made a face at that and rolled over watch as Daryl finally found the packets of Ramen that he had hid the last time he had come over. “It’s not the not getting laid part, its the asking about if I have a girlfriend, and oh, I have a lovely girl for you to meet Glenn, have you finished college yet, you’re going to be a doctor, correct?” Glenn said in a high pitched voice. 

Daryl rolled his eyes as he walked into the living room. “Cry me a river, why don’t you ask one of the girls?” he asked as he kicked Glenn’s feet off the couch and perched up on the arm of it, putting his feet on the couch cushion. 

“I did,” Glenn said. “Amy and Andrea laughed in my face, Rick looked murderous when I asked if I could borrow Lori for a day and I don’t want to subject Carol to my family,” Glenn told him with a sigh. 

“Why not hire a hooker then?” Daryl asked, unwrapping the ramen and eating it dry. 

Glenn winced as he ate and then his eyes grew large when he registered what was said. “Are you fucking serious?” he squawked. “I’d rather take you!” 

Daryl snorted at that, ramen flying everywhere, but Glenn’s eyes got large and a smirk found its way on his face. 

“No,” Daryl said, pointing at Glenn. “Stop that, that’s your thinking face, just stop it right now. No, I’m not, nothing you can say will make me.” 

“September 5th, 2009, remember? Senior year?” 

“I burned all those pictures!” Daryl yelped, dropping his ramen in shock. 

Glenn snorted. “Not all of them.” 

“Fuck.” Daryl said, leaning back and almost falling off the couch. 

Glenn’s answering smile promised hell. 

—

Glenn pounded on the door to Daryl’s apartment. “Christ Daryl, we’re going to be late!” he yelled through the door.

“Hold you’re fucking horses!” Daryl yelled through the apartment and shoved open the door a few seconds later. 

“Are you, you’re wearing a suit,” Glenn said, his yes wide. 

“You said this was a fucking wedding,” Daryl said, looking down at his clothes. His tie was fucked up beyond belief and the suit didn’t fit right, it had been his dad, but he had figured it would be nicer than the normal outfit of a henley and jeans with his work boots. “D’you, should I change?” 

“No!” Glenn yelped, stepping forward to fix his tie, ignoring the way that Daryl stiffened when his fingers brushed up against his neck. “I just, was surprised, and damn, you shaved too?” Glenn asked, reaching up once he’d finished fixing the tie. 

Daryl rolled his eyes and swatted Glenn’s hands off of his face. “You said we were gonna be late.” 

“We can make an entrance,” Glenn said, a bit dazed. 

—

“Yeah, no way that baby Glenn caught you,” his cousion Gladys said, leaning against their table at the reception. She narrowed her eyes at Daryl and tilted her head. “Are you from an escort service or something?” she asked, laughing at Glenn’s squawk.

“No,” Daryl said, and then leaned forward after slinging his arm over Glenn’s shoulders and pulling him close. Glenn noticed that he could feel the warmth from his arm through all the layers of clothing they were wearing and his cheeks went red. 

“Like he’d be able to afford me if I was,” he said, his eyes flickering back to Glenn. “He’s on a college student budget, med school costs a shit ton,” Daryl said with another smirk. 

Glenn rolled his eyes, but tried sinking under the table when his sister nudged Gladys. “No, no, Gladys, this is Daryl, remember I told you about him,” Phyllis said with a strange sort of emphasis on Daryl’s name. “All his phone calls home are full of his name, Daryl did this, oh no mom, Daryl picked me up from school today in his blue truck,” she said teasingly. 

Glenn’s face went bright red and he tried burying his head when Daryl laughed at that. He quickly looked up in shock when he heard the snick of a phone camera going off. “It’s just adorable really,” Phyllis said with a giggle. 

The phone in Glenn’s pocket buzzed once before it exploded and Glenn pulled away from Daryl to look down at his phone. He groaned when he saw the facebook notifications. “Please tell me you didn’t put that on Facebook,” he said. 

“Incentive for you to change your relationship status, mom has been waiting for it since sophomore year,” Phyllis said with a smirk before pulling Gladys away. 

“Well shit,” Daryl said when he saw the notifications. His face was nearly level with Glenn’s as he looked down at the small phone, and his breath puffed against Glenn’s ear. If he shivered it was totally because of how cold it was in here. 

Amy was yelling about making it his profile picture, while Andrea and Lori’s comments had the word finally in them. He wondered if all the women in his life shared the delusion that he and Daryl were meant for each other. Probably. 

“Haha, they’re crazy,” Glenn said nervously, and swallowed when he felt Daryl’s hand on his lower back. 

“C’mon,” Daryl said, and then led him out of the room when Glenn stood. 

“Are you going to kill me for this?” Glenn asked after he got shoved into the wall, and sighed in relief when Daryl snorted and rolled his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you just say something?” Daryl asked him, his arms on either side of Glenn’s head and his breath puffing across his lips. 

“Say what?” Glenn asked in confusion. 

“Why ask me on a fake date instead of a real one?” Daryl asked, giving him a gentle kiss that cleared up what Daryl was talking about, but not the butterflies in his chest wrecking havoc and probably eating his internal organs. 

“Uhm,” Glenn said, it was hard to breath, which proved the butterfly theory. They probably started with his lungs. 

Daryl rolled his eyes and ducked down to press another kiss against his lips. This time Glenn managed to reciprocate, and ended up pulling him closer using the stupid tie. “You could have just asked,” Daryl mumbled against his lips and rolled his hips. “I would have said yes a million times over.” 

“Oh,” Glenn sighed into Daryl’s mouth and held onto his suit jacket, afraid he’d fall. 

“Can we leave?” Daryl asked Glenn as he sucked a hickey onto his neck. 

“Yes, totally, man, yes,” Glenn said with a high pitched whine just as a throat was cleared down the hall. 

“Not until you introduce me to your friend,” his mother’s voice said, and Glenn groaned in embarrassment as Daryl just laughed into his shoulder. 

Okay so, Glenn wasn’t an idiot. He knew that they had an internet presence, what with the tweets directed towards him that his management told him not to check. But he was curious okay. He just didn’t realize, okay he didn’t realize what googling himself would get him besides a couple of fan pages. 

He most certainly didn’t expect art of him, with other people at least. He definitely didn’t expect stores about him and Daryl. He tilted his head at one story and then flushed when he realized what it meant, and then Daryl leaned over his shoulder. 

“What are you looking at?” Daryl’s breath brushed against his ear and Glenn slammed the laptop shut, his face red. 

“Nothing!” he squeaked. 

“Was that porn? Who reads porn?” Daryl asked, making a grab for Glenn’s laptop. 

“Loads of people read porn! I can’t exactly watch videos on the bus, I mean it wasn’t even porn Daryl!” At least, he didn’t think it was porn. 

“It totally was porn wasn’t it, I saw the word lick,” Daryl smirked as Glenn flushed and tried to move away from Daryl. Glenn tried to duck under Daryl and out of the bunk area, and he managed, only to find his laptop in the hands of Daryl, who made the jump to the top bunk easily. 

“Oh yeah, this is porn,” Daryl said with laughter in his voice. “- and then he took Glenn’s dick in his- wait are you reading porn about yourself?!” 

“No!” Glenn yelped, scrambling up on the top bunk. “I just googled myself, I was curious, and then this popped up.” 

“Wait, who is the he?” Daryl asked, clicking around a bit until his face went pale. 

“What? Daryl who was it?” 

“That is, they think,” Daryl scoffed and closed the laptop. “People think I like you.” 

“Well you do shove me around a lot like a second grader with a crush.” Glenn teased. 

“Shut up,” Daryl said, shoving him. 

Glenn yelped as he almost fell off the top bunk, but Daryl grabbed him with an eye roll. 

“What’s so bad about liking me anyways?” Glenn said. “I’m totally handsome,” Glenn ruffled his hair like Shane did whenever Rick’s girlfriend was around. “I’m funny, and I can make a mean grilled cheese.” 

Daryl rolled his eyes. “Keep pushing it and I’ll shove you out of here for real.” 

“You don’t mean that,” Glenn whispered. “After all you likkkeee me,” Glenn leaned in and fluttered his eyelashes just as Shane ducked his head into the bunk room. “Hey, are you two, woah, uhm, I’ll just be, outside.” 

Glenn flushed bright red, but noticed that Daryl was just as red, and totally wasn’t shoving him off the bed. “Uhm,” Glenn whispered and let out a squeak of surprise when Daryl grabbed his shirt and brought him down for a kiss before slipping off the bunk and shoving past Shane. 

Glenn is most definitely not hiding behind Amy at the faculty meeting. 

“What are you doing?” She hisses at him. 

Okay, so maybe he is, but the new teacher looks positively adorable, and slightly awkward, in his button up and actual pants. The outfit is a far cry from the jeans he’s been wearing to set up his class room. 

He’s also ignoring everyone around him and actually looks relaxed when Rick eases into the room, Lori and Shane following him with identical blushes on their faces. 

Glenn makes a face because school hasn’t even started yet and he’s already got to put up with this. 

Rick clears his throat and starts the meeting and Glenn ducks his head when the new teacher’s eyes flicker around the room. He ignores Amy’s stifled laugh.

—

“So, hi,” Glenn says, holding out a hand on the first day of school. Their kids are running around for recess and Glenn thinks its high time he y’know, introduced himself. 

The other man gives him a hesitant smile before taking his hand. 

“You can call me Glenn,” Glenn tells him, definitely not swooning at the smile or anything. 

“Dixon, I mean Daryl.” 

“It’s nice to have another male teacher here,” Glenn says, dropping Daryl’s hand, despite the fact he really doesn’t want to. “Shane doesn’t count because he’s the gym teacher.”

Daryl gives him another smile and Glenn is ridiculously glad for one of the girls to come over yelling about someone falling over and scraping their knee. He might have swooned otherwise. 

—

Glenn comes to both loathe and revere casual Fridays. Mostly because of the way that Amy laughs at him in the teacher’s lounge when Daryl walks in jeans. Amy’s laugh is loud and bright and Daryl’s eyes always look for him after Amy laughs. Glenn offers him a smile and Daryl sits down next to them with a huge thermos of coffee. 

“Late night?” Glenn asks. 

Daryl snorts into the thermos, “Yeah, grading papers.” 

Amy lights up at that. “Just like Glenn, he never gets out,” she pauses and narrows her eyes at the both of them. “You’re both coming to the staff Christmas party right?” 

“Oh, totally, because I want to see my bosses making out with the excuse of mistletoe,” Glenn grouses and then sputters when Amy shoves him. Glenn squeaks when Daryl keeps him from falling out of the plastic chair. 

“No, really, you should come, both of you, It’ll be fun, I swear.” 

Amy turns her eyes from Glenn to Daryl who look unsure before turning her gaze on Glenn, who simply sighs. “Sure,” he says. 

Daryl agrees quickly after that, and it sends Glenn’s stomach tumbling around. 

—

Daryl clears his throat and Glenn almost falls off the stool he had set up to put holiday decorations up. 

Daryl is practically across the room in a few seconds to steady him, even if he didn’t really need it. 

“Everyone else is at the party.” Daryl says. 

“I said I would come, I didn’t say how long I would stay.” Glenn says with a grin. 

“You missed everyone making a fool of themselves,” Daryl says. 

Glenn shrugs and notices Daryl hasn’t let go of his arm and he steps off the stool and grins up at him. “They do that on a daily basis, don’t they?”

“True,” Daryl agrees, taking a step closer. 

Glenn’s breath catches, and Daryl’s thumb brushes against Glenn’s elbow. “Is this okay?” he whispers, almost against Glenn’s lips. 

Glenn doesn’t answer, just pushes up on his toes to press his lips against Daryl’s. 

“Yeah,” Glenn breaths out a few minutes later, his face red and his breathing harsh. “Really okay.” 

Glenn dies for the second time on a Tuesday.

He wakes up on a Monday, just like the first time. He comes to with a gasp of air, choking on the stale air in his tent and scrambles for the zipper, stumbling out of the tent and still gasping for air in the barely there light. 

The camp is silent, as it usually is in the morning, the only sound is the  snap of twigs under his feet as he manages to make his way over to the worn out area in the middle of camp. 

“Nightmare?” a gruff voice asks from above and Glenn almost jumps out of his skin, but looks up and sees Daryl leaning over the edge of the RV. 

“Uh,” Glenn knows it was far to real to be a nightmare, he can still feel his hands, slick with blood, his own blood, and he shivers. “I guess.”

Daryl doesn’t say anything to that, just grunts, as if nightmares are par for the course these days, and really they probably are. Glenn is comforted by the fact that Daryl is there, he wasn’t there in the previous Monday.

Glenn takes a moment to wonder what the hell is wrong with the world, and just hopes that he’ll wake up under the same sun tomorrow,  alive and breathing, not waking up from the dead.